Welcome to today’s installment of How Hard Can It Be, where we examine the cream of the derelict detritus crop unloved orphans that inevitably end up on the electronic chopping block Craigslist. For your consideration we offer a 1971 Chevrolet Vega.
The 1971 Vega was Chevrolet’s answer to the flood of small economical cars from Japan, as well as the established but aging Volkswagen Beetle. A relatively nimble beast, it sported a light aluminum-block four-cylinder and front disc brakes. Compared to its closest US-domestic rivals it wasn’t a terrible car; road tests from the period suggest it went well, handled well, and had timeless looks.
What they couldn’t know at the time was the engine would slag itself overheat if you looked at it the wrong way failed to heed the temperature warnings and the car rusted in the showroom. “What’s that noise?” many a night custodian at many a Chevy dealership would say to themselves. “Oh, that’s the sound of a new car rusting quietly to itself.”
Which conveniently brings us to this car. The photos make it look complete, but that’s because you can’t see the gaping hole where the drivetrain used to be. It lacks a title, but we’re sure you could get around that with Adobe Photoshop and some crayons. Also based on the photos, this rusty turd paint-challenged gem appears to have lived its entire life in a showroom, what with the cancerous floors, fenders, doors, hood, truck, etc. Despite being the incorrect part for the year, the front bumper looks pretty.
Our favorite part of this advertisement is where the seller boldly states, “NO SCAMMERS !! IF YOUR EMAIL LOOKS WEIRD I WILL NOT REPLY BACK.” Apparently, this poor fellow has been inundated with requests from far-off countries tempting him with wild riches should he send his bank account number and this Vega to Namibia.