Maybach Oblivious to Reality, as Usual (Sales Down 25%)



Surprisingly, in a global economic downturn, people stop buying tasteless, half a million dollar cars. The world’s worst styled multi-millionaires have decided that, given their current financial situations, that they would have to give up a luxury or two, and it wasn’t going to be weekly $500 haircuts. As such, Maybach’s gadget filled super-limo’s sales have dropped from 400 in 2007 to 300 in 2008. Maybach seems not to have noticed. More after the jump.

Despite a 25% sales drop over the course of a year, which normal people would see as catastrophic, Maybach’s product and portfolio manager Thorsten Lenz has stated that “there is no visible impact of the financial crisis.” Clearly, sales of completely unnecessary luxury items dropping at the same time as a world-wide economic crash is nothing but coincidence. Kind of like how train wrecks are usually accompanied by mechanical or human failures, it’s just coincidence.

Despite the company being now 1700 unit short of manufacturing capacity, there are not plans to close down since “it’s not losing money.” Investors never want a positive return anyway.  This “doesn’t matter,” however, because Lenz claims that the car can compete with Rolls Royce and Bentley, whose sales have actually risen dramatically despite the financial situation. With all of this as my evidence I have determined that Lenz is clearly suffering from serious hallucinations.

“Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterised by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality.” Thank you wikipedia.

Tasteless jokes aside, Thorsten Lenz needs to consult his doctor about Risperdal. Side effects may include anxiety, insomnia, low blood pressure, muscle stiffness…

[Motor Authority]