Refresher: Part I, Part II, and Part III.

So it’s snowing in Edmonton on May 19. Just phenomenal. And I still don’t have the Toyos on, so I’m driving very gingerly on the bald, disintegrating excuses for tires that currently reside under my Zed.

With the temperature around zero Celsius, grip is an issue, even with the traction control on. I dare not turn it off, for fear of doing a one-eighty and unexpectedly facing on-coming traffic.

Surprisingly though, the Zed handles the cold with aplomb. The windshield wipers have a neat little variable-speed adjuster and the ventilation from the HVAC handles the window fog easily. 

The heated leather seats warm quickly and let me forget that on the other side of the glass are billions of sparkling, white, golf course-killers. The handling of “cold with aplomb” bit really only applies when the car is at rest, though, because the ride in inclement weather (and in Edmonton in general) leaves something to be desired. For the first time in my life, I understand why people in Alberta buy so many damned SUVs. It isn’t the ride height, it’s the suspension travel allowed by the lifted wagons known as sport utility vehicles. Edmonton has some seriously poor roads. I’ve heard that Michigan and England have poor roads, and although I’ve never experienced either state’s roads from behind the wheel, they can’t be that much worse than Edmonton’s. They just can’t.

Thankfully, mercifully, the Bose/Pioneer hybrid sound system makes driving around town liveable.

With the flakes and flecks floating down on the aluminum hood in front of me, the seventh track from Metric’s fourth album, Fantasies, sets the mood perfectly. The song? Collect Call.

If the fire’s out baby
How you gonna keep me warm?